Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
