How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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