i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
