Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
