If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
