ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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