I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
