Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
