is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize