break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
