If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
In the future we'll all be gay
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
