Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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