The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
