is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
