if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
