We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
