i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
