why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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