Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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