Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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