Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
