apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
