Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Randomize
