doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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