Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
