what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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