You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
