omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
this will be a night to untag.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize