well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
