was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My vagina is officially offended.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
