Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
