Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
