she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
