I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
