At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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