My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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