VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
