dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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