WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
