alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
