BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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