Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
