you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
