i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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