were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
