Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
