Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
