im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
