There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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