let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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