i just had sex bonerless
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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