hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
