Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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