I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Who died my cat blue again?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
