sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
