SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
don't judge my taste in strippers
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize