the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
