You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
