The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize