Everything about him screamed your future.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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