is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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