my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you made out with another girl for some wings
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
